Jankovic : "I still love competing"

 Jelena Jankovic went through a nightmare this year where injuries wouldn't go away. Still, she loves being out there. After playing reaching the final in Guangzhou and beating Garbine Muguruza in Wuhan, the Serbian is finding her way again. Not enough to get through on thursday against Barbora Strycova (1-6, 6-4,7-5), despite nearly coming back from 1-5 in the second set and being up a break twice in the third set. Lacking matches and confidence, "JJ" knows the road will be long. But at least the smile is back on her face.

(Crédit : Wuhan Open)

Does it feel like this is the kind of match that was in your racquet and slipped away ?
I had so many opportunities, I started so well. I had everything under control and somehow... I had a few bad games in the second set, lost the momentum and the rythm so brought my opponent back into the match. But again I could have come back, but served a few double fauts, and then in the third I was up a break twice... In important moments I wasn't courageous enough, wasn't believing enough, was a little bit too tentative. I wasn't going for my shots and believing in my game. I was waiting for her to miss and it wasn't  coming but it wasn't something I wanted to do, it was just that it was tough for me to control my emotions. I didn't go for it enough when it mattered and that made a difference. If I had been braver, if I had played the way I can play, then I would have closed it out a long time ago. But unfortunately I didn't play a lot of matches this year and I think that shows. I'm a little bit rusty, a little bit overthinking sometimes and not making the right choices at the right time.

It's been a tough year : what are your thoughts on what happened and your situation right now ?
It's been a tough year because I had two ruptures in my shoulder, and it wasn't easy for me to come back and to feel comfortable on a court, because I've lost my strength and muscles everywhere. I couldn't do anything cause you use that muscle for everything. I'm still far away from my best shape but in this moment I'm just happy to be on the court and competing. I missed a lot of tournaments, and the ones that I played I came back too early because I just wanted to be out there, just wanted to play even if not ready. I didn't want to miss the French Open so I came there at really 20% of my abilities without high expectations. But I missed the Olympic Games, the hardcourt tournaments and came to the US Open but being still quite fragile, quite scared to be out there, doubtful and tentative. I was afraid to get injured again. I'm just not playing freely. And it feels like the last two weeks are the most I've been competing this year ! It's nice to be out there, to be part of the event and to be competing, fighting. There are a lot of things I should have done better but it's also a question of confidence. When you compete week in, week out and are always in that position to win the matches then you're a little bit more relax. But when you haven't done it for a while... That's what happened to me today, that's unfortunately the reality.

(Crédit : Wuhan Open)

Are you surprised to still love the game that much after all those years ? Were you imagining that when you started playing ?
It's a little bit different now. When I was younger, I enjoyed every bit of it, was really happy to be on the court and just enjoy the game; I didn't really took it as a job, it was more a fun game to play. I loved running around, getting those balls back. Now after playing for so long it's different : I still love the game, I love competing, but this year has been tough... I didn't enjoy being at the doctor's office, doing the rehab and all the therapies. That was the tough part. And then coming back from zero, losing everything... It was tough for me to accept the fact that a lot of the things that I used to do with ease, I couldn't anymore and that it would take a lot of time to get back to the level I was or to be even better. I'm on the court, being all "how can't I hit that ball ?!" I'm not physically ready and also I haven't practiced nor done the work that needs to be done. So that part I didn't enjoy. But I still love competing, I still love being in front of crowds, winning matches, thriving for that perfect hit. For that perfect shot that will never happen, but when you go on the court you always try to do it better and better. I'm never satisfied, always think that I can make it better. So that's what pushes me to play. But I just need to be healthy, then I have a smile on my face. Even if I lose, I'm healthy so I'm happy (laughs). You're kind of depressed when you're in pain, can't bring the arm up, can't do normal things like washing your hair : it's really frustrating, you just want to do normal things ! So even if I lost today, I'm happy to be in one piece (laughs).